A few more comments on porn addiction

Not that I want this blog to be "all porn, all the time" as far as subject matter, this article was brought to my attention:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/porn-sites-account-xxx-tra-real-estate-web-30-internet-traffic-report-finds-article-1.1058584?localLinksEnabled=false

Here's an indicator of the problem, right in the lead paragraph:

Researchers have found that a whopping 30% of all Internet traffic involves pornographic sites, with the biggest one notching three times the page views of CNN or ESPN,...

What's more, people spend more time on porn pages, with average visits to other sites around five minutes, while porn site visitors average 15 minutes.


The toxicity of pornography has spread through advertising and even non-pornographic entertainment.  There are many things now marketed through sex rather than extolling the virtues of the product itself.


Because of the internet's ability to deliver high-quality images at a high rate, pornography has never been easier to get.  Also, images that elicit lust cross a wide array, from innocent images in ads or the posting of personal photos all the way to XXX-rated fetish sites.


The question then arises, does porn use have the equivalent of 'heavy drinking,' which implies someone who abuses alcohol to the point of appearing addicted, yet  this person can quit at-will?  While actual porn addiction is on the rise, there are many who simply abuse it because of its power and prevalence.  There is so much porn out there that it is very hard to move around the internet even in search of basic news without coming across prurient images.


As with all other addictions, censoring the internet won't cure the underlying malady.  It is good to keep porn under control, but an outright ban will likely be ineffective as a complete cure and will fuel yet another underground industry.


Our mission ought to be to offer people the hope of God's love when they abuse porn, so that they have a better alternative.  The shame and guilt of porn usage cannot be erased: even people who regularly use porn don't want to be caught using it.  Society cannot erase our human make-up.  While our humanity is indeed made with a sexual component, we also understand that this desire is a complex and powerful (and therefore clumsy) element.


With the amount of porn on the internet, easier to get than a bottle of Jack Daniels and in many ways more powerful, we internet users need to be careful.  This is true not just of those who identify as addicts, but even those who have not yet tested their own limits in this regard. 

Legalization?

This article was originally posted on the Ad Orientem Blog:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/should-the-us-legalize-hard-drugs/2012/04/11/gIQAX95QBT_story.html

I'm not entirely sure about the topic of legalization of hard 'street' drugs, but here are a few things to think about:

http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr/crime-in-the-u.s/2010/crime-in-the-u.s.-2010/violent-crime/violent-crime

http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr/crime-in-the-u.s/2010/crime-in-the-u.s.-2010/property-crime

Both of these studies show that, in the US, crime is on an over-all decline.  Yes, there are record numbers of drug arrests and incarcerations, but there are also record numbers in prisons for all kinds of offenses.

Prison stops bad people from doing bad things on the streets.  What I am not sure of is whether legalization of drugs will alter these overall trends or not. 

What I do know is that if drugs are legalized, there will be higher levels of experimentation.  This will undoubtedly lead to higher incidents of addiction, since more people will be able to access their 'allergic' reactions to these drugs that they would otherwise never know without such experimentation.

Drug addiction and work are usually mutually-exclusive realms, and so a society that legalizes drugs should consider whether it is willing to pay for the upkeep of addicts.  And, most of us know, addicts are socially expensive.  They consume vast quantities of resources already, from emeregency room services to social services for their families.  They will undoubtedly require more of these services, more than we already provide.

So, if you think permitting people to use cocaine will save on the cost of imprisonment, what do you expect the social costs will be when that same coke addict can't work and requires more public assistance.

The underlying reality is the 'dependency' means more than a chemical arrangement.  Addicts are dependent on the rest of the world to feed and care for them.  Society must make some choices: do we want to care for more people or not?  Society regulates behaviors in large part because there there is a collective sense of responsibility.  What that means is when a behavior effects your neighbor, then expect the government to get involved.

If the government is not involved, then it becomes a matter strictly for the individual.  So, if you are allowed to take drugs as you see fit as a personal choice without government interference, then you should bear the consequences on your own.  Societally-speaking, however, we should be prepared for people who will become irresponsibly addicted.

Is society willing to allow these addicts to kill themselves, more than likely in a very slow and very public way?  Right now, the societal expectation is that no person should be permitted to die due to irresponsible behavior.  Just about every community has an 'Adult Protective Services' that digs hoarders out of their disasters and the elderly out of their isolation.

Will our society make the choice to let addicts die from their legal addictions?  Right now, the government pays Social Security benefits to alcoholics and addicts who cannot work because of their addictions.  As more addictive substances become accessible, one can only assume there will be more opportunites for addiction.

If you really want to do something about drugs, then you have to follow the Malaysian model: automatic death sentence for drug trafficking... period. 

For 30 years, Malaysia has executed drug dealers and smugglers.  One case in particular became famous:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barlow_and_Chambers_execution 

Sadly, addicts are slow on the uptake, and Malaysia still has drug problems, though not nearly on a Western scale.  China also appears to have a similar policy.  Strangely, Malays are more upset about one of their own citizens being executed in China than the 300 death row candidates they had in 2008:

http://ipsnews.net/news.asp?idnews=40878

There are no easy answers, because the passions can drive us into self-destruction.  The government will always fail in this regard because the government cannot treat the passions.  All it can do is create laws and decide to what level it will extend assistance or mete punishment to those who fall short.

Whether drugs are legal or not, there will always be addicts.

Update on Fr. Adam

Some readers may recall this posting about acting as if God is real:

http://orthodoxyandrecovery.blogspot.com/2012/03/as-if-god-was-real.html

Most of us put God on the back burner when it comes to other priorities: we are often willing to shorten prayers or skip them completely in ways that we don't with, let's say, food.  Yet, we often have the conflicting notion that God is the most important priority in all our lives.

But, because we do not see Him, many do not believe in Him and even those who do often forget Him, even when praying.

The case here is of a priest serving the Liturgy when his son tells him the family home is on fire.  He tells his son he will look into it after the service, and has the boy find his mother.  How many of us would run out the door with such news?  Fr. Adam, at a gut level, knows what is most important and demonstrated it.  He lost all his possessions, yet did not abandon God.  He finished the service.

So, what was his reward?  Well, first, he himself has seen the strength of his own faith tested.  Second, he certainly has earned the respect of his brethren.  Third, he has also seen an outpouring of love from others:

http://www.stots.edu/news_120409_1.html

http://wnep.com/2012/03/05/fire-fund-to-help-priests-family-2/

http://newporttwpems.com/

On this, the day after Pascha (Easter), I thought it was appropriate to have an update.


In an era when we all seem to desire and expect to be able to avoid struggle and hardship, we too often forget that our true strength as humans is not in the avoidance but in the endurance.  This is what sobriety is all about: enduring our temptations for the sake of something greater.


Like Fr. Adam, we should all be 'taken captive' by God.  Because, if we were so inclined, we would not be wracked by the fears that drive us into places we do not wish to go.  By putting Him first, we can have the peace of mind that circumstances cannot take away.  We can also enjoy the 'harvest' that comes after such trials.  In Fr. Adam's case, his own patience has led to an experience of others' love that few of us here have experienced or can even imagine.

Will Return After Pascha

With Holy Week in full-go mode, it seems impossible to get time to compose anything worth reading, so I'm going to hang up the keyboard until after Pascha ('Easter' to Western Christians).

Pain Killer Addiction Rising in the US

Years ago, I was on a jury for a murder trial.  It was, essentially, a drug deal gone bad.  The main witness, who introduced the dealer and the victim, was a homeless prostitute.  At one time, witnesses testified, she had been a loving mother with a job and home.  Then, she was hit by a car and introduced to Oxycodone (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxycontin#OxyContin).  After being abruptly cut off from the generous supply provided by public health, she went after it on her own to the point of losing her child, her home, and her dignity.  She switched from 'oxy' to crack somewhere along the way.


How do these tragedies begin?  They are not as uncommon as you might think.  Prescription drug abuse has been a major problem for sometime now, and indications are that it is not going to go away.  In fact, we have much more to look forward to:


http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_PAINKILLER_NATION?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2012-04-05-17-08-04

There are several contributing factors here. Doctors want to help patients, and so they prescribe.  What they prescribe is far more powerful and addictive than what was once available.  But, what is happening now is that the demands of patients for a pain-free life have become increasingly unrealistic.


Here is one doctor's opinion:

http://www.epmonthly.com/columns/in-my-opinion/treating-a-nation-of-anxious-wimps/

Americans are becoming increasingly expectant of an entirely pain-free life.  We don't want anything to hurt, not only because of the experience of pain, but also because pain limits what we can get.  For example, if you get sick, you can't go to work.  If you can't go to work, you have less money.  If you have less money, then you have to do without the things you think you need to be happy.  Therefore, sickness has 'catastrophic' consequences: you cannot be happy at all, suffering in the moment and into the future.


So, we seek to kill the pain.  This not only goes for physical pain, but emotional pain as well:

http://yourlife.usatoday.com/health/story/2011-10-19/CDC-Antidepressant-use-skyrocketed-in-past-20-years/50826442/1

The more we expect things to make us feel 'good' and hide our spiritual suffering, the more we need to 'medicate' our problems.  After all, dealing with many forms of pain takes time and 'therapy.'  I've had back aches for years, and have to engage in almost daily exercises to deal with my pain.  Finally, after ten years of needing a back brace to get through services, I am standing on my own due to months of exercises and lessening my dependence on mechanical means.  I still hurt a bit, but it is subsiding due to the new strength of my muscles.  No more Advil and bulky devices.  I had to have patience and endure a lot of pain to get the results.


People don't want to take time and effort to cure their emotional and psychological suffering: they want a pill called an 'antidepressant' when only a minority of cases really require such medications.  yes, there are genuine cases of chemical imbalance, but most people have highly-treatable, temporary forms of depression that can be cured by living a healthy lifestyle and dumping the unreasonable expectations they place on themselves.  The key is a desire to change, but many people don't want to change.  They want their 'stuff' to work, and deny all the pain that comes with it.


Then again, sometimes, you have to hurt.  We all experience situations, like the death of a loved one, where pain is to be expected.  Mankind has always endured this kind of pain.  Do we really need a pill to get through the normal pains of life? Are we that weak?


Now, compare the story above to the statistics in this article:

http://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/suicide/statistics/trends02.html

For all the extra mediation floating around in our blood streams, if you factor in the increases in population, medication has had little effect on the most profound symptom of depression- suicide.  We are prescribing more and more medications, with less and less results.  In fact, some results are counter-productive: 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/12/13/AR2006121300452.html

Untreated depression, caused by social expectations rather than physiological problems, is a needless cause of death and suffering.  Here is a tragic story from Japan (I've posted the printable form because the Daily Mail has lots of garbage in the sidebars in true English tabloid tradition):

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2127414/The-suicide-forest-Japan-Mystery-Mount-Fuji-beauty-spot-100-bodies-year.html?printingPage=true

The Japanese are also suffering from the inability to bear the pains of a materialistic society.  They are not having children, and the children they have are at increased risk of suicide (as are the adults).  When I lived there, I recall the huge suicide prevention signs in the train stations: they were fine charts showing travelers how much their families would pay if they jumped in front of a train.  The cheapest time was Sunday mornings.


All of us must make the decision to bear reasonable pain.  We must also take responsibility for the pain we cause ourselves.  If your idea of happiness is having lots of material things that force you to work 80 hours a week, then you will be stressed and you will suffer.  The cure is not a pill, but the decision to do without all that stuff.  After all, the pill does not change the reality, and the reality is that you are burning yourself up.


If your body hurts, you must examine the causes: is it because of a temporary, accidental injury, or because I routinely abuse it?  We must understand that if you abuse your body but then turn around and take pills so you can abuse it some more, this is a form drug abuse.  


Pain medication is not intended to enable us to hurt ourselves more, yet this is precisely what we do when we use medications to avoid real healing.

A Drug Smuggling Priest? Expectations, Hypocrisy, and the Prison of Pride

Last week I wrote about the clergy and the temptations of porneia.  Little did I imagine something like this would come up:

http://www.churchofcyprus.org.cy/article.php?articleID=2301

Here's a rough translation (thanks to Google and a few adjustments to obvious word-choice errors):

The Holy Archbishopric of Cyprus would like first to express its deep sorrow for the world triggered by the horrendous acts and actions of the Greek priest Panagiotis Triantafyllou, who was arrested by the police, alleged drug server from outside. Also would like to inform that this priest was ordained in Greece and came to Cyprus a few years ago, asking to join the Church of Cyprus, where he was admitted. After a time there were brought ​​before the Archdiocese several complaints against him for various offenses, which, however, could not be substantiated.  Recently, there came into possession of the Diocesan Court of the Archbishopric of Cyprus new data on the actions and activities, which the Court thereby initially set an indefinite suspension from all rites; and then immediately began an inquiry, according to the procedure laid down in the Constitution of the Church of Cyprus. The matter of the past Wednesday, April 4, 2012, in anticipation of the Diocesan Court procedures, will be considered now now based on newly emerging information.

The shepherd Church wants to assure the pious crew that while diverted priests are a black stain on her body which cause sadness and turmoil, but that as the Body of Christ is always active therapeutic, and having regard for the proclamation of Jesus Christ: "Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter  into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire."  Holy Archbishopric of Cyprus, April 6, 2012.

The news story about the arrest is here:

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-04-06/cyprus-church-saddened-by-arrest-of-priest-on-drug-charges.html

The Church of Cyprus does not mess around.  Yet, while the Church prepares to sanction (99% chance he will be defrocked) this troubled priest, it still does so hoping for his salvation.

The reason I thought this was interesting enough to post for several reasons.  First is that it is an example of how the Orthodox Church deals with sin: the hope is that the natural results of such an action will result eventually in repentance and salvation.


But, the second reason is to demonstrate that clergy are not immune to temptations everyone else has, and Orthodox Church realizes this.  The canons suppose clergy and laity are held to the same standard, though clergy sin may result in a removal from orders, whereas a layperson is temporarily removed from the Sacraments and then restored.


The underlying passion of this priest is anyone's guess.  It may be greed, sloth, and/gluttony.  But, his actions make it impossible for him to act as a priest again, just as cutting off your own legs makes it impossible to run a marathon again (yes, there are super-prosthetics these days, but the legs don't grow back).


Anyone getting sucked up into the illegal drug trade is lamentable, but this fall is all the more painful when one considers the 'heights' from which he fell.  He was a respected man of his community, and, more so, someone seeking after God.  His actions say that he's clearly not seeking after God anymore... at least in a healthy way.  Our sins are about seeking relief from our passions, which can only truly be healed by God, yet most of us will settle for less.  This appears to be the case here.


So, can someone be considered a faithful follower of God and yet commit such a sin?  The answer we know to be true is 'no,' because if we accept God within ourselves, then these types of acts would seem repulsive to us.  Sin is something which becomes repulsive to the extent that we experience divine Love.  Of course, this is an incremental process for all of us, but we can rule out significant sins right in the beginning: there is no such thing as a 'holy murderer.'


In our own lives, it is important to ask ourselves: are my actions and my supposed intentions lining up?  If I say I want to get sober, yet I continue to sabotage my own sobriety, am I really willing to stop?  Or, am I lying to myself once again because I cannot stand the truth of my own passions and their desires?


All of us suffer with degrees of hypocrisy, which is evident.  In the previous post on clergy porneia, one of the greatest shames clergy deal with is knowing how far their actions are from their exterior intentions.  Some know full well that their secret lives have nullified their ability to truly be ministers in the Church, but they hide in fear of the shame.  Still others have sins that are not yet disqualifying, yet they also are ashamed and fear disappointing others and also undermining their credibility (a hard smack to the ego).


Yet, this fear only prevents healing through repentance, which means the clergyman suffers in secret.  Eventually everything comes out, and the long years of shame only act as a pressure cooker, turning what is inside into goop, then exploding and spraying it everywhere.


Those in recovery generally call that a 'bottom,' though you would be surprised at how many addicts can have their lives completely come apart like this and keep on using.  "No, I'm fine."


There is no telling when someone will decide to abandon hypocrisy and go through the pain of acknowledging his inner suffering and weakness.  Some people go on and on.  Others have relatively minor episodes that lead to an awakening.  A general principle is that the higher the expectations placed on a person (his status and rank), the more he will hold on to his secrets.  Ego is a painful prison.  No one wants to look 'less than' to others, and addicts feel this all the more profoundly, as it is often said that an addict is "an egomaniac with an inferiority complex."


Because society places unreasonable expectations on clergy (they must be 'sinless' in order to talk about 'purity'), and the Church itself seeks to protect people by disqualifying men who have bad track records, clergymen are often resistant to getting help for their early struggles and wait until things blow up.  No one of us, clergy or not, should allow our egos to keep us from being healed so that we can experience the joy and peace that comes from God alone.


We ought to not let our Pride prevent us from approaching God.  We must break through it and ask God to heal us from our deepest fears.  Otherwise, we are all just a bunch of drug-smuggling priests.

Entering the Church versus Beginning the Steps

One of our readers sent me this comment:

Perhaps in a future blog you would consider addressing the following issues for those of us who are not (yet) Orthodox Christians but have extensive experience with 12-step programs. Would redefining "How It Works" as "How Repentance Works" be reasonable (i.e., do the steps accurately operationalize the process of repentance)? It appears that people are usually received into the Orthodox Church by confession, baptism and/or chrismation, and the Eucharist in rapid succession. Would it be fair to conclude that one is not ready to be received until one is abstinent/sober (i.e., willing to go to any lengths to avoid sin, and especially the besetting sin that drove one to a 12-step program) and has worked the steps through the restitution, amends, and reconciliation of the ninth step (i.e., one is reconciled with those who have something against one)?

This is a tricky topic, but I think our friend has a good sense of the connection between the Steps and the Church.

To address part of her question, the Church, like the Steps, does require a willingness to be sober and change one's behaviors.  However, both the Steps and the Church concede that it is impossible to demand 'restitution, amends, and reconciliation' as a condition before starting.

The Church makes an effort to educate catechumens as to what lies ahead, just as the addict will read ahead in the Big Book before he starts the steps.  Both Church and group pull no surprises, and there are no secrets.

They both also require a gradual introduction to God as a prerequisite to change. The first three steps are:

1. We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God

In the Church, that's largely what Catechism is about.  Through education and exposure to the Church's life and people, the inquirer makes the decision to take up the spiritual struggle.  As a catechumen, the person then is on track to start some of this process, but the Church assumes that, without God's grace given through the Sacraments, one is not able to make 'restitution, amends, and reconciliation'.

So, the Church, like 12 Step groups, does not demand utter abstinence as a precondition to membership: you are a member when you demonstrate the willingness to be abstinent.  This is what Baptism enacts: the death to the old way of life so that one can be born anew (albeit gradually).  Some do it better than others.  Like the groups, there are also plenty of people who show up still in the clutches of sin, and we make room for them hoping that, when they change their minds, they will be able to recover.

So, the Church does not demand perfection 'up front.'  The problem for many outside the Church is that their preconceived notions of Christianity prevent them from exploring it for what it really is.  They assume that, because the Church preaches against sin, that they must be sinless.  Nothing is further from the truth: sinless people don't need Church.  If you could stay sober before joining a group, you would not need the group, either.  It is much more the same than you realize.

The Steps preach sobriety to people who cannot stay sober on their own, and the Church does the same thing.

The first Steps gradually take the alcoholic through the process of healing, and the Church does the same by starting one off in the Sacraments.  The Sacraments are not a reward for continence or abstinence, but tools to help accomplish them.  We do not Baptize people to recognize their purity, but to make them capable of being purified to begin with.

Just as you don't make amends until you have been part of the group and worked the preceding Steps, the Church also requires people to get into the Church and begin the spiritual process before one can expect to have repaired all of one's relationship.  The first of those relationships that must be healed is one's relationship with God.

The critical difference between the Church and the Steps is that the Steps are very organized and methodical.  In the Church, the same tasks are accomplished, but in a very personal and often 'disorganized' way.  Each person charts his own progress, with assistance from the Church and with the same goal.  Yet, the how the goal is reached can vary from person to person.  The Steps are very fixed, where as the Church has common tools (i.e. the Sacraments), but the methodology can vary.

Yes, 'How Repentance Works' is 'How It Works.'  Recovery is repentance, and visa versa.  Repentance is abstinence, but it is also the awakened man in union with God.  It is transformation and healing, just as sobriety is.

12-Step groups do not use the same terminology as the Church, but that is to their benefit: most people think they understand who Jesus Christ is, though their concepts are often formed by unhealthy experiences with people we Orthodox would call 'heretics' (by the way, there are Orthodox Christians who have heretical beliefs... not every one of us is a saint!).  Both 12-Step groups and the Church require participants to drop their preconceived notions and enter with a mind (technically, we would say 'heart,' but in modern American lingo 'heart' is limited to emotions rather than deepest thoughts and experiences) open to God.

The virtues, which are central to the manifestation of Christianity, are not tolls to be paid in order to enter God's presence.  They are fruits of that relationship:

Now the works of the flesh are plain: fornication, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, party spirit, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such there is no law.  And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.  Let us have no self-conceit, no provoking of one another, no envy of one another. (Galatians 5:19-26)

We see in this passage that what is considered good are those things preceding from our union with God.  This is not unlike the 11th and 12th Steps.

As this blog motors on, we will return again to this topic, because it is so much a part of this blog's purpose: to bridge the terminological gaps between Orthodox Christianity and the 12 Steps.