Primal Fear

When we hear about man's 'inclination' towards evil, we ought to ask ourselves what that really is.  Is is a desire for evil?  Do we like doing what is bad?

From my own experience, I would have to say that there is less than a desire to do evil (which I observe as a learned response) than a powerful 'force' within us: fear.  There is a primal fear of man, the 'wound' of the fall.  Ultimately, it cannot be reasoned or negotiated with.  It is an unvaried part of our fallen condition.

One may think of it as the 'original sin,' the curse of mankind.  It does not make us guilty, but gives us the ability to be guilty.  As it moves within us and tempts us to act out, we begin to accrue excuses for its existence.

Counselling can remove its justifications, but psychology cannot produce and utterly 'fearless man.'  This primal fear cannot be talked away.  It is unlike all other fears, a deep terror of the unknown, one occupying the space between death and eternal torment.  It is no-place, yet everywhere.  It follows us within.

This is also why, in the end, the greatest fear is the fear of one's self.  It is that horrid cry, "My God, what have I done?"  The terror we have of others is the fear of our own inadequacy.  This primal fear is inward and directed inward.  Like a Black Hole in spiritual space, it sucks all the light that approaches it.

This is why we need another light to illumine us.  We need the help of God to enter within and cure that hole.  As Christians, we believe the ultimate cure is the death of that hole: we must die in order to be reborn.  The hole cannot be 'plugged' or resisted.  It is the 'failure' of the system itself.

Only God can cure our primal fear.