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Friday, December 20, 2013

A Friendly Reminder About the Holidays

Holidays are a 'slippery' time for addicts.  They are full of temptations.

It's not just food and drink, but memories and nostalgia and dissatisfaction and alienation.  Yes, those are really big temptations.

My advice: go to meetings.  Have some people on 'speed dial.'  Talk to someone who cares about what you are going through.  Holidays can feel lonely, but they are only as lonely as you allow them to be.  If the crowd you are with has you feeling isolated, then reach out to someone else.

Don't try to manage the holidays on your own.  You can't.

Remember that sobriety is all about recognizing your emotions and disposing of them properly.  Some emotions are appropriate, but others are not... particularly those negative emotions which lead to despair and stupidity.  Dump them.  Confess them.  Get rid of them, because they will make you miserable for no reason.

Remember that misery without hope serves no useful purpose.  Ask yourself: does this sorrow have any benefit to me?  If not, dump it.  By the way, the only sorrow that is necessary is the one that leads us to God's love and healing.  All the rest is just wasted time and effort.



There are better things to life than being sad and depressed.  Addicts struggle with learning to be happy, especially since most think that being happy means being numb.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Real happiness is not numbness to our pain, but the elimination of the pain by growing and healing.

Until that comes, don't forget your real friends and co-strugglers.  Help them by calling them, and they will help you.  

If you are not struggling, then reach out to those who are.  Show them you care, even if it is quick text or a phone message.  It means a lot to someone fighting the inner battle.

Most especially, try not to ruin other peoples' attempts to be happy.  It will only make you feel worse later on if you get all pent up and then explode in the middle of Christmas dinner.  Deal with your problems in private, then wash your face and put on your best show.  You'll find this is an ascetic struggle, but one well worth having.  It is a great victory for mankind when we can refrain from afflicting one another with our neuroses.  

These holidays are God's property.  Let's treat them that way.

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