Don't Worry, Getting High on Meth is Perfectly Safe

For all of you out there in the streets who need a laugh, here's one:

Meth Mouth and Other Meth Myths

Yes, meth is not that bad for you.  Never mind that prisons are loaded with meth users, and cops are scared of what it does.  I saw it first-hand when I worked a side-job at a probation department handling thousands of files of offenders who were pushed by their addictions into criminal conduct.

Dr. Carl Hart's study tries to downplay the real issues.  Sure, some things about the meth epidemic are overstated, but one only needs to go to a city like Stockton or out in the desert of San Bernardino County here in California to see the havoc it is wreaking.  The tell-tale sign that there is a problem here is the fact that he also downplays the crack epidemic of the 1980s.  I lived in downtown LA during that time.

It was a zombie wasteland for years.

Eventually, the addicts died off and people learned to stay away from it for the most part.  But, the damage was done.

Hart says that only 15% of those who are exposed to meth become addicts.  OK, so now here's the big question: what is the exposure/contraction ratio for tuberculosis?  Lower than that... and we quarantine TB patients.

It seems like a low number, up until you realize that this largely a theoretical number... that strangely overshoots the addiction rates for alcoholism (~10%) by 50%.  We control alcohol for lower numbers, but somehow we are 'overreacting' to meth?

Sure, plenty of people try it once and get scared.  There are others who can 'take it or leave it.'  I don't think any rational person would say there is a drug out there that 'creates' addiction.  Addiction requires a number of factors to be in place.  But, one of the keys is supply: you can't get addicted to something you can't get.

If you do have an 'addictive personality' or predisposition, which would you rather try to recover from: meth or alcohol?  I think the general consensus is alcohol.

Yes, meth can be used in small doses to treat ADD and ADHD... the key here is small doses.  Cocaine in Coca-Cola and cocaine in crack are different.  Same with opium and heroin.  Refining and concentrating can make all the difference in the world.

So, who sponsored this study?  These folks:

http://www.opensocietyfoundations.org/about

Yes, the philanthropist George Soros, who set up this foundation to help Soviet countries come out of Communism and embrace, er, well, I guess the same kind of capitalism that Soros uses to make lots of money.  So, why would they have an interest in drug policy in the US?

Soros has long advocated legalization.  Again, the question is why legalization is good for his style of aggressive, international corporate-capitalism.

But, don't worry.  Everything will be OK.  Just do what you are told.  Keep taking your drugs.  You will be taken care of.  Someone will always care for you and have your best interests at heart.  </sarcasm>

Praying With Others

Here's another reader's comment from one of the pages.

Greetings, Fr George. As an Orthodox Christian, should I feel strange about saying the "Our Father" at meetings with non-Orthodox? Do the Church canons prohibit the practice of praying with the non-Orthodox? Also, as a layman, I'm not sure how I feel about having a sponsee perform the 5th step (Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs) with me - this is essentially confession without the absolution, is it not? Should I be hearing someone's confession as a layman? Lastly, I see you've already tackled the subject of "God as we understood Him" - I am grateful for this, though unsure if I should advocate this approach to sponsees. At the very least, I'd be inclined to advise a sponsee to approach God as God Is, rather than approaching God with our own preconceived ideas, which may or may not fall short and hinder a genuine connection from being established. I'd appreciate any feedback you have to offer.

So, he raises several points-

1) Can I pray with non-Orthodox, especially at meetings?

2)  Can an Orthodox Christian hear a Fifth Step?

3) God as He is.

Starting with the last first, I do think that all addicts need to approach God without preconceived notions, but also understand that the Program does specify what attributes God has revealed to them, which are also necessary for recovery.  The fact that the group has a common experience of God to share with the new addict is not a 'preconceived notion,' since the addict is not the origin of the description.

Now, as for the first point, here are three canons from the Pedalion, which is the book containing the canons of the Church-

 

Apostolic Canon XLV (45)
Let any Bishop, or Priest, or Deacon that only joins in prayer with heretics be suspended, but if he has permitted them to perform any service as clergy let him be deposed.

Apostolic Canon XLVI (46)
We order any Bishop or Priest, that has accepted any heretic’s baptism or sacrifice be deposed; for “what consonance has Christ with Belial? Or what part has the believer with an unbeliever?”

Apostolic Canon LXV (65)
If any Clergyman, or Layman, enter a synagogue of Jews or of heretics to pray, let him be both deposed and excommunicated.

The 'prayer' mentioned in the canons has to do with services.  The canons specify that Orthodox Christians should not attend non-Orthodox worship services, and that clergy are subject to deposition for confusing Orthodox and non-Orthodox worship and sacraments.

This canon has never been used against Christians who, let's say, go to a friend's wedding.  But, they are used when a Christian goes through such a rite himself.

Saying the Lord's Prayer in an AA meeting may be awkward (to be honest, I hate holding hands in a circle, since it just feels weird as one who grew up thinking that people who held hands in a circle with their eyes closed were either dangerously sentimental or trying a New Age experiment), but it is not sinful.  The person you are praying with needs God as you have come to know Him through the Church, so praying with this person is an appeal to our God which we hope will lead to His revelation to those we pray with.

A 12 Step meeting is not a worship service, and nobody confuses it with going to church (except for those who may use it as a replacement).  Praying with others, inside and outside a meeting is OK.

Does it occasionally get uncomfortable?  Yes, it does.  Sometimes people say some strange things in prayer, and so we can ask God (silently) to have patience with our friend.

If you have have someone who appears to be pushing an agenda in prayer (usually punctuated with lots of emotive sounds and the word 'just'), it is OK to push back a little.  I had this one time with an evangelical who decided that his prayer was going to be a restatement of the 'once-saved-always-saved' doctrine, and so I countered with an appeal to the Virgin Mary to protect and guide him.  Needless to say, he was not pleased, but he got the point.  

The same goes for us: we do not, in praying with others, use our prayers an excuse to push an agenda.  Keep them simple, and remember that the person you are praying with might not be ready for everything all at once.  Be gentle and patient, just like your Heavenly Father.

As for the question about hearing the Fifth Step of another person, let's look at what the Big Book says (pp. 73-75)-

We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world. Rightly and naturally, we think well before we choose the person or persons with whom to take this intimate and confidential step. Those of us belonging to a religious denomination which requires confession must, and of course, will want to go to the properly appointed authority whose duty it is to receive it. Though we have no religious connection, we may still do well to talk with someone ordained by an established religion. We often find such a person quick to see and understand our problem. Of course, we sometimes encounter people who do not understand alcoholics.

If we cannot or would rather not do this, we search our acquaintance for a close-mouthed, understanding friend. Perhaps our doctor or psychologist will be the person. It may be one of our own family, but we cannot disclose anything to our wives or our parents which will hurt them and make them unhappy. We have no right to save our own skin at another person's expense. Such parts of our story we tell to someone who will understand, yet be unaffected. The rule is we must be hard on ourself, but always considerate of others.

Notwithstanding the great necessity for discussing ourselves with someone, it may be one is so situated that there is no suitable person available. If that is so, this step may be postponed, only, however, if we hold ourselves in complete readiness to go through with it at the first opportunity. We say this because we are very anxious that we talk to the right person. It is important that he be able to keep a confidence; that he fully understand and approve what we are driving at;  that he will not try to change our plan. But we must not use this as a mere excuse to postpone.

I've highlighted the most important point: Orthodox Christians should do their Fifth Step with their father-confessors.  However, there is no mention here of absolution.  Why?  AA cannot speak of that because AA is not the Church.  It dares not to.

A Fifth Step can be done without absolution.  In the case of non-Orthodox, we trust that God squares them away without the absolution prayers we Orthodox benefit from.

As for hearing a Fifth Step, reread the passage.  Again, if the person who comes to you comes from a church with absolution (I think that is pretty much us and the Roman Catholics, but these days you never know), then it would be best for you to gently tell your friend to go back to his church and do it there.  Do not interfere in this person's sacramental life.  You may annoy God with such presumption.

However, if this person has no other route to God, then by all means offer yourself to God and your friend as his connection to the Creator.  After all, this is your calling: are you not supposed to be a lamp to the world?

AA Without God?

We live in a age where people often believe they don't have time to think, then go about not thinking.  There are others still who believe that they think, when in fact they are like everyone else and go about not thinking, but do so with flair.

An example of not thinking can be found in those who try to work the 12 Steps without actually following what the 12 Steps say.  Here's an example-

Alcoholics Anonymous, Without the Religion

Now, the problems are many, but let's go to the most obvious: religion and spirituality are different.  What these folks are doing is not about removing 'religion' from AA as they are removing its spirituality.  Spirituality is about union with the Divine, and religion is about how one gets there.

AA and other 12 Step groups are not religious, because they do not proclaim the name of God or provide the cosmological context of man the way religious groups or the Church does.  The fact that these folks, as well-meaning as they are, can't see that means something else is afoot.

What is going on here is something more than 'agnosticism.'  A true agnostic is someone who does not know.  That's the root of the word.  Now, here's the rub: if you don't know whether God exists or not, would you go about changing the whole AA program to exclude Him?

The human survival instinct and common sense dictate that you would probably hold onto something until you could determine whether it is useful or not.  These folks are not really agnostic.  They have a certainty that they do not believe in God.  At least, their actions do.  They are willing to act as if God does not exist.

So, what does a 'humanist' AA group look like?  Well, here's pull-quote from the article-

In its “fellowship of concerned, loving people,” he said, he found a secular version of the “Higher Power” to which A.A. literature refers. Humanist A.A. groups also have drafted their own nontheistic versions of the 12 steps. Instead of needing divine assistance for recovery, for example, one step states that “we needed strengths beyond our awareness and resources to restore us to sanity.”

Hmmmm... I wonder where these come from?  Is this merely some kind of ancient wisdom?

How exactly is this any different from any other type of self-help talk-therapy?  Surely you can get the exact same therapeutic approaches going to a counseling center, complete with support groups and a  step-by-step psychoanalysis, all without having to butcher AA?

OK, perhaps 'butcher' is a strong word.  let's look at what they did with the 12 Steps-

'Agnostic' AA 12 Steps

1.     We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2.     Came to believe and to accept that we needed strengths beyond our awareness and resources to restore us to sanity.
3.     Made a decision to entrust our will and our lives to the care of the collective wisdom and resources of those who have searched before us.
4.     Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5.     Admitted to ourselves without reservation, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6.     Were ready to accept help in letting go of all our defects of character.
7.     With humility and openness sought to eliminate our shortcomings.
8.     Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9.     Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10.     Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11.     Sought through meditation to improve our spiritual awareness and our understanding of the AA way of life and to discover the power to carry out that way of life.
12.     Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

From their Step 3, we can see that the cure for the alcoholic's problem lies in 'knowledge' or 'wisdom' passed down from other alcoholics in recovery.  That's no different than going to a counselor or a psychologist and getting 'knowledge' or 'wisdom' at an hourly rate.

In Step 7, we see that that alcoholics must change themselves.  This is a self-will-powered program.  Here's the problem: can a broken will fix itself?  If your will is so distorted that you cannot stop drinking, how then can it turn around and stop by its own determination?

The supposition here is that working the previous steps is enough to change the will to stop craving alcohol.  However, looking at the step as they are laid out here, this falls in the middle of the process.  

How can you seek to eliminate your defects when you have not yet been made entirely aware of them?  Don't forget that the biggest battle an addict faces is not forgiveness, but asking forgiveness.  You want to find out how humble you are, trying saying sorrow for all of what you've done in an honest way.

The reason this step is in its place in Traditional AA is because  God's work is necessary in order for the addict to proceed through the rest of the steps.  The addict needs to change and be changed in order to complete the steps, something he cannot really do on his own before completing the steps.

For the life of me, I can't figure out what kind of spiritual awakening one can have without God as they describe Step 11.  What are you awakening to?  This is where it gets tricky.

You see, once you cut AA's mooring lines to a particular yet anonymous God, then you begin to run into a problem for true atheists versus polytheists or New Age believers.  A true atheist says there is nothing outside the material, so there is no spiritual awakening to be had.  Spirituality to the atheist is just as crazy a proposition coming from Jerry Falwell or Joel Osteen as it is coming from Shirley McClaine or Dionne Warwick.

Of course, the problem with severing the connections to the original is that you would end up with countless sub-groups, which would necessarily become more 'religious' as they sought to describe what exactly they believe.  So, you end up with Shirley McClaine and Christopher Hitchens sitting next to one another in a room saying, "Wow, I'm so glad we have these meetings to ourselves!"  Strange bedfellows if you ask me.

Why would they share a room?  Because they have a common enemy: the Monotheist and his beliefs.  Let's not forget that the AA God is not described as Trinitarian, and so even a Mormon or a Jew or a Muslim could find room in AA.  there's a lot of room in this definition.

The agnostic does not believe, but neither does he not not believe.  He does not know.  He must then choose: try to believe, or get sober on your own.  By creating their own program and cutting off the spiritual source that AA finds in God, the humanists are making a choice to not believe.  It is, in essence, no longer agnosticism and has become something else.

The question then remains: do they get sober?  I don't know.  I do know that it would not have worked for many of us.  And, I have also seen a lot of white-knuckle abstinent drunks in my experience, both in meetings and outside of them.

Only time will tell.

Obsession and Addiction

From some of the earliest days of man, the behavior we now call 'obsession' has been with us.  In fact, it has been around much longer than the recent idea of 'addiction.'

While there may be more ancient examples of obsession, none is so striking is that of Narcissus.  In this story from Greek mythology, a spell is placed on him so that he fell in love with his own reflection, and eventually perishes from starvation.

Modern psychology has variously described this phenomenon of obsession with terms like monomania and idée fixe.  All involve a single idea that the mind concentrates on, to the exclusion of others and without a reasonable connection to reality.

Addiction is often described as an 'obsession.'  It certainly bears all the earmarks.  But, there is a critical difference, one that is hard distinguish at times as the suffer transitions from obsession to addiction.

In the case of Narcissus, the spell caused him to lose control.  Obsessions often represent losses of control.  People who are obsessed will often find themselves doing embarrassing things because they simply cannot see themselves being embarrassed.  They suffer from 'tunnel vision' which leaves them unable to make rational decisions.

However. whereas an obsession can be about any idea, an addiction is a type of obsession involving the usage of a substance or engagement in a behavior that causes a 'high.'  Not all obsessions are that way.

Sure, many obsessions can have a reward component, but most obsessions are just anxiety-riddled experiences with little in the way of benefit.  They are a form of mental illness which have no up-sides.

Addiction is tricky: it offers an 'upper,' the brain chemical cocktail that the anxiety sufferer desires as a momentary escape.  It is an obsession with a 'benefit.'

This is why most obsessed people can break the obsession through a therapeutic process (unless we are talking about organic mental illness, and even there therapy can help relieve some symptoms), whereas therapy has had little effect on addiction.  The reward mechanism is powerful enough to short out the rational process necessary for talk-therapy to really work.

Making something that feels good to not feel good is impossible.

This is often why addicts will report a point when their addiction 'stopped working,' and soon after they found the path of recovery.  The powerful bond of the reward to the obsession was broken.

If this bond is not broken, the addict cannot use his rational, upper-brain intellect to overrule his lower, animal-brain experience of the high.  Yes, addiction is a lower-brain experience, which is why it is so powerful and so hard to overcome.

Obsession is an upper-brain problem for the most part.  It confuses and tangles the lower-brain functions, but it is still largely a problem of faulty logic.  Addiction, however, comes about when the lower-brain hijacks the upper-brain with its desires and impulses, leaving the mind to race with excuses for its lurching into short-sighted and foolish decisions based on cravings for rewards.

Religion can be an obsession for sure, but aspects of it can become addictive once those rewards click in.  Take the priest who gets a 'rush' when he instructs someone to do something and they do it.  He can become 'addicted' to his own power.

I think many of us have seen that type of obsession/addiction.  It is a manifestation of lust addiction, probably the most powerful of all the behavioral addictions.  Religious organizations can be a place of temptation for those who come into power in them.

As we approach Great Lent, it is a good time to examine ourselves and see if we are indulging in these 'highs.'  We ought to search ourselves diligently, lest we overlook the one thing that might bring us down... like Narcissus.

Marijuana: the Gateway Drug to Cookie Addiction?

OK, I am joking a bit here.  Please don't take this too seriously.  But, when I saw this story about the Girl Scout cookies being sold outside a San Francisco marijuana dispensary, it clicked with much of what I have been learning about addiction:

Girl Scout Does Brisk Business Selling Cookies Outside San Francisco Pot Club

Of course, we all know the stories about pot smoking and getting the 'munchies.'

But then, it sinks in: a Girl Scout outside a drug dealership?  When was the last time you saw a Girl Scout selling cookies outside a bar or a liquor store?

What was the mother thinking?

Danielle's mother Carol takes her two daughters to different places around San Francisco to sell cookies so that "they can learn about different environments," Mashable reported.

Ah, yes, sell cookies outside an upscale SF dispensary to learn about the world of pot smokers.  I get it now.  It is less about the cookies and more about 'teaching.'  We have some honesty here.

Well, not really.  You don't learn much about the effect from alcohol on people just by standing outside a liquor store... unless you are in the part of town where a good mother would not take her Girl Scout.  She will get to see the functional, safe, and relatively clean side of the matter.  She will likely see the 'nice' side of regular marijuana users (occasional users don't go to the trouble of paying for a prescription and joining a pot co-op, but usually get there pot from someone else who does, like bumming a puff off of someone at a party).

Mom won't take her daughter down into the seedier places in San Francisco.  At least, let's hope not.  She won't see what happens when you let your craving for intoxication take you too far.

She also won't take her daughter outside a Weight Watchers office or an Overeaters Anonymous meeting.  That would be 'insensitive,' right?  But, how in the world is she going to learn about those people?

I'm not dumping on cookies... we've had a life-long relationship.  There a point here: first, if you really want to learn about people, you have to be ready to go all the way.  You have to be ready to see both the good and the bad, otherwise you build up false ideas about them that can carry on well into adulthood.

But, the other point I wanted to make is about abuse mechanisms.  Many people in addiction these days will move from drugs to food.  This is a point raised in one of my latest reading self-assignments:

The Fix by Damian Thompson

I'm not quite done with it, and though I don't agree with his assessment of AA (being against religion and the Divine is all the fad in the UK these days, isn't it?), he does have a lot of excellent points our predispositions to losing control.  The physical reaction to sugar, and how this has been amplified with the advent of processed sugar in common foods, has created a whole new struggle for humanity.

Cookies can be just as powerful of an intoxicant as pot in terms of addiction, just as a heroin addicts will tell you that kicking cigarettes was harder than quitting opiates.  Besides, when you get 'high' off of food, you can be totally abstemious.  You have to eat.

Underneath all of this is that we have come to a place where our lives seem unlivable without what Mr. Thompson characterizes as a 'fix.'  We are so full of stress that we need a relaxation response even when most of our stresses are ongoing and not resolvable.

The industrial age has taken away from us the 'season.'  Sure, we have snow and sunshine, but that effects us less and less when it comes to labor and food and lifestyle.  Unlike the farmer, we don't have the seasonal 'down-times' between sowing and harvest.

So, we smoke pot because we 'need' to get high for a momentary break, and when that does not work, we can easily turn to high-sugar food.  If that does not work, then there is sex and porn.  Or, heroin.  Or, alcohol.  Or, shopping.

The 'gateway' is not so much the substance as the impulse to get high.  Marijuana is a 'gateway drug' because you only use it to get high, and yet it seems so natural and gentle.  It is not like cocaine or heroin, with their hard edges.  Marijuana can be 'romanced' in a way that hard drugs can't.

So can cookies.

 But, at least people can enjoy eating cookies.

Marijuana Legalization Fallacies and Other Stuff

Now, this is a 'political' video in actuality, but it does bring up important facts about marijuana effects:

MARIJUANA!! The Truth!

At the end, he is open to discussing legalization, but only so long as all the facts regarding its harmful effects on the human body and present social statistics are taken into account.  many of us do not buy the 'it is harmless' mantra, nor do we believe that many of the social problems associated with marijuana (and, for that matter, most intoxicants) will go away with a flick of the pen.

Here's a rule of thumb: the stronger the intoxicating effect of a substance, the more it will lead to abuse.  Marijuana's potency has tripled since the 1970s.

It is funny that many of the same people who see no problem with getting baked on marijuana DO see a problem with tobacco and sugar.  Now that I am starting to fight my own battle with sugar, I do see how someone could think that banning Twinkies would be a good idea.  But, wouldn't it just be more of the same?

Supply is a problem, but the bigger problem is how we live.  I know I eat sugary treats because a) I eat when I am stressed, and b) my wife bakes cookies to relieve her stress.  No, I am not kidding: she bakes to deal with her problems, but won't eat the darn things.  I do, and it shows.

Perhaps I should not inject my own struggles into this post, but I think I would probably not have gotten so far into the sugar problem I have now if I had really seen the consequences... and done a better job of managing my own stress levels.

These are two things we don't do these days.  We do not teach one another to live lower-stress lives, and we are almost pathologically terrorized by reasonable exchanges of ideas.  Totalitarianism is all the rage right now, making it virtually impossible to discuss important issues.

But, we need to talk these things through.  We need to look at even the unpleasant facts, and stop insulting people we don't agree with even if we think we have every right to... because, in fact, we don't.  calling someone a 'bigot' or a 'fascist' or a 'commie' does nothing for the conversation except shut it off.

Getting back to stress: what we are taught these days is to dope up when we feel stressed.  We are not taught to stop doing what is stressing us out, and we certainly don't get a complete picture of what self-control really is.

So, we get a one-sided representation.  One group will say you can't control your sexual impulses, but you can control your thoughts about race.  Another group says you can control your sexual impulses, but you can't control your judgment of others.

In each case, there are demands for self-control, yet there are also losses of self-control which are excused.  It is high time that we get honest and look at these matters in a reasonable way.  we must stop looking at our fellow man as the enemy.

Response to a Comment: The Generosity of God

OK, so now a response to the third part of the earlier comment:

3) Then further confusion comes in because I know people 20 years in sobriety whom God has not "revealed Himself" to them as anything other than the God of the 12 Steps, and I know a Jew who had visitations and spiritual revelations almost identical as a Christian in AA - It is confusing to me why God would give this consolation to a Jew without really letting her know it was Himself: Jesus Christ. I then wonder if it is God at all! 

Well, I am not going to be the judge here, but I will say this: if it is not God Himself that is keeping her sober, then is it just a trick of the mind?  Perhaps is the mere fervent belief in God sufficient?

My take on this comes largely from the second post in response.  Here, I have cited that even the Scriptures themselves bear witness to the presence of God in what would otherwise be considered 'pagan' practices (I did not get into 2 Ki 3:27, since it is outside the scope here and is a bit more complicated).

The Three Wise Men (Mt 2) come to worship Christ ... and God manifested Himself to them even though nothing indicates that they left being anything more than Babylonian astrologers.  It does not say they became Jews, since they did not return to the Temple to offer sacrifices.

Our struggle is to see God as being truly generous.  We feel comforted somehow knowing that what we are doing is right, and this is reinforced when we see punishment poured out on those who do wrong.  

But, here is what Jesus said:

“For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard.  After agreeing with the laborers for the usual daily wage, he sent them into his vineyard.  When he went out about nine o’clock, he saw others standing idle in the marketplace; and he said to them, ‘You also go into the vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.’ So they went.  When he went out again about noon and about three o’clock, he did the same.  And about five o’clock he went out and found others standing around; and he said to them, ‘Why are you standing here idle all day?’  They said to him, ‘Because no one has hired us.’ He said to them, ‘You also go into the vineyard.’  When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his manager, ‘Call the laborers and give them their pay, beginning with the last and then going to the first.’  When those hired about five o’clock came, each of them received the usual daily wage.  Now when the first came, they thought they would receive more; but each of them also received the usual daily wage. And when they received it, they grumbled against the landowner, saying, ‘These last worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the day and the scorching heat.’  But he replied to one of them, ‘Friend, I am doing you no wrong; did you not agree with me for the usual daily wage?  Take what belongs to you and go; I choose to give to this last the same as I give to you.  Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or are you envious because I am generous?’  So the last will be first, and the first will be last.” (Mt 20:1-14)

God has the right to do what He wants with people in recovery, period.  Whether He manifests Himself to them directly or not, that is up to Him.  For the rest of us, it is simply none of our business because we ought to know what it is we ourselves have experienced in the Church.

Or, do we?  How often do we forget about the miracles and signs that accompanied our own lives, and begin to wonder whether we are being tricked.  Sure, there are plenty of folks that can talk themselves out of the Church just as they talked themselves in to begin with.

I watched a classmate from seminary who went from Super-Duper-Orthodox to panning the Church and rejecting all religion in less than a decade.  I still care for him, and I think he has made a big mistake, but it is his decision to make and it does not affect my own Faith.

There are others who abuse the Faith, using it to beat down other people and condemn, even though our Lord Himself said He did not come to condemn the world, but to save it.  The world and the people in it judge and condemn themselves, so we don't really need to pile up more on them.  It is important to speak the truth and point out falsehood, but not to assume there is no hope.

I think that we ought to be glad when someone finds God, even if only in a small way.  Why?  Because, perhaps it is all they can handle.  Why put more on them than they can bear?  God says there are some who are 'greatest' in the Kingdom of Heaven, and some who are 'least.'  What is more important: getting in, or being first?

Perhaps God will allow for this smallest of revelations to suffice, just as we believe that those who have never heard the Gospel are not automatically condemned.  

Or, perhaps God will hold us accountable for not being better examples to others so that they might see Him in us, in which case the real problem is not with those who have only a partial revelation of God but those of us who have received a greater portion but hidden it under a bushel.

I don't pretend to speak for God on this matter.  I do know that no one comes to the Father except through the Son.  I also know that many we think should be last will be first, because only God knows and judges.

But, I also know that Christ made a way through hades by His own death and resurrection, and I know that the Church prays for everyone to pass through to the Son.  My belief, based on the prayers and teachings of the Church, is that some people go through their conversion in the death process itself.  Nothing is final until the Last Judgment, and if those who are dead in this life can turn and accept life, then I do not see how the dead cannot also.  When Christ finally returns, then there is no more 'wiggle room.'

The more I contemplate the mercy and love of God, the more I see His compassion for the lost.  When I was new to the Faith, I had a very black-and-white approach to God.  Now, I realize that the Scriptures are far more subtle and profound, at once condemning the sin of man and yet seeking his salvation and conversion.

When it comes to AA and other 12 Step groups, we will see and hear many strange things.  The question is not whether God loves these people or not.  he does.  The real matter is whether we can love them as well.  This is our own challenge.

The other struggle is to keep working for what we were hired for and to not resent God for being generous with those who have not worked as much as we have.